ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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