You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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