Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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