this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
