Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
