Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
