yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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