i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
