She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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