My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
