bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
