apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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