You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
