rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
