I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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