Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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