If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
