she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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