i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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