I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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