So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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