i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
