You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Jerry, you need to find god
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
