The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
