HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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