Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
