Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
