they need to just BURY HIM!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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