you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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