The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
