She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
