I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Damn victory sex feels great
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
