Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
