I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
