Are we in a gay sports bar?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
