I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
