giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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