Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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