all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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