i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
