1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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