I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
