I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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