i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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