sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
