I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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