Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
