just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
