New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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