hell yes lets make some ravioli
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
