i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
