new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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