I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
