I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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