we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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