I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
