Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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